Random Pics 3-13-10

Some pics in commemoration of the first week of Finer Things Friday (which is a lunch group my friends and I plan on having every week at a culturally rich location) that was held at the Museum of Art at BYU and a couple from my time in Brazil which was referenced in my last blog.

Here we have a state of the art power outlet... very artsy!

Me and my Chevy. Yeah, that's a Chevy hood ornament.

I don't really have much to add to this picture other than mention that there was a mural on the wall of the bar that was pretty funny.

Artur (The Bookstore)

Anyone who knows me, knows that I LOVE fiction books. I have traditionally claimed The Hobbit as being my favorite book; however, it is probably more accurate to say that the Ender’s Game series has now become my favorite set of books. I get so into them that I finished three of those books during last Fall’s finals week at school and finished a fourth over Christmas break.

This week I finished the first of the Halo books. No, I’ve never really played the game much, but I love stories like that and I thought I’d give it a shot. I loved it. There are two other books in the series I’m anxious to read, but BYU’s bookstore conveniently doesn’t carry the next two books! Who does that? That’s like a crack dealer that only sells to you once! Anyway, it’s not that important.

One series I always wanted to read was the Chronicles of Narnia series. That’s what this blog is about. It also involves my old Brazilian roommate Artur. I was reminded of the story this evening as I was with my friend Jesse and we were relating some of the ludicrous stories we have involving Artur. Just for the record, though this and any following Artur chronicles feature a crazy Brazilian, let it be known that I love Brazilians in general, lived in Brazil for two years as an LDS missionary, made great friends there, and I have been fan of their national team for about 15 years. But I digress…

One afternoon, my old roommate and great friend Jesse and I were in our room after school. Jesse was probably studying in his bed and I was most likely playing NBA Live ’99 for N64 on my computer’s emulator while listening to Jock Jams as I usually did. That’s when, also as usual, our beloved roommate Artur entered the room swiftly and quietly without necessarily being invited in. He had been roaming the streets of Provo that afternoon, yet again as usual.

He started to tell us of his exploits as we tried our best to ignore him and make him feel as unwanted as his presence in our room was. Then, he said some something that caught my ear. Artur had been to a used bookstore on Center St. of Provo and purchased a collection of the Narnia books for about $5 or $6! As I said before, I had been interested in reading them and this sounded like a sweet deal to me.

Jesse recognized my excitement and interest and offered to give me a ride to the bookstore so I could purchase my own copy. Artur said he would come along and show us where he got it. I was incredible excited for the Narnia books and whatever other treasures the store might hold in store. I was practically bouncing up and down in the car and babbling on incoherently about books I had recently finished.

When we got to the store, I sprinted inside and began searching for the book I desired. I found what seemed to be the right shelf and searched it extensively. I found Lord of the Rings (which I already had), books by Orson Scott Card, and single Narnia series books. I couldn’t find the one I wanted though! T

That is when Artur strolled up behind me, after what seemed like an eternity of searching by myself for the book I wanted, to show me where he found it just an hour before. He walked right up to me, pointed to shelf on the stand I was looking at, and said in his accented English, “Dis is where I godit, it was di last one!”

… There was an awkward silence. Jesse and I looked at each other in shock, but not disbelief… well, we couldn’t believe that it happened, but we believed that if a situation like this were to happen, Artur would be responsible for it. One of us began to ask, “Wait, if you got the last one… why wouldn’t you say…” whoever, it was that started to ask that realized how pointless the question was. There wasn’t a good answer for that question. We stared at each other and tried to contain our laughter. I knew it was too good to be true.

We tried to salvage our trip by looking at the other books, but nothing caught our eyes. We settled on making fun of obscure sci-fi book titles and plot lines… which is always fun… but not as fun as reading the back of romance novels. To this day, I’ve never read the Chronicles of Narnia series. I almost feel like it wasn’t meant to be. I did get a fun story out of that experience though!

Random Pics 3-11-10

The first in a series of posts with random pics I've taken.

Yes, that is a Joseph Smith Sphinx. Only in Utah!

Better watch your kids at this restaurant!

No Walking on Water?

The Cougareat Adventures (Teriyaki Stix)

This has been an extremely sad week for me. My life changed forever on Monday around 11:00 am. I approached the counter of the restaurant Teriyaki Stix in the Cougareat only to find that they had changed their menu and no longer offered the meal that I have been eating everyday for the past few months. They no longer offer “Noodles.” Noticing the item’s absence on the new menu, I asked the cashier to confirm my greatest fear. She did so and I began to walk away defeated. That’s when a large man, who appeared to be a manager at Cougareat, who just got done ordering in front of me said, “But they have noodles. They have Chow Mein now!” It was a slap to the face! Baffled, I starred right back at him with what have must been the most disgusted look and said, “But they don’t have ‘noodles’ anymore!” All physical evidence pointed that this man knew his food, but apparently not. For the record, chow mein and the normal noodles formally offered at the food chain are VASTLY different!

Anyway, this is just one of the few marking experiences I’ve had with relation to Teriyaki Stix and it reminds me of an interesting series of events that occurred there about 2 years ago…

I wasn’t accustomed to eating at the restaurant, but for some reason I was craving Orange Chicken that day. I got in line and waited my turn. I had no idea the mystery that would unfold before me because of my decision to dine there that day. When I received my order, I noticed that the bottom of my bowl had a strange surface. It felt grainy. When I got back to my table with my friends, I looked under the bowl and found a small note: Have a great day ;)

I wasn’t sure how to feel about it at first. I guess I thought it was cool since it was the only thing other than the vending machine that I purchased Mike n’ Ikes from that told me to have a great day. So, I discarded the note and forgot about the incident until the next day.

I guess I liked the Orange Chicken because I found myself going back for more the same day. Things were pretty much the same as I ordered except the cashier seemed especially chipper and said that I could get free veggies on top if I so desired. I so desired. When I received my meal, I discovered an amazing piece of art. The cook had placed the veggies into a smiley face on top of my food. It was pretty cool!

I looked around to see if he did the same to the other orders before and after me. The cook hadn’t. That was strange to me. I got lucky I guess. I showed my friends back at my table and we started talking about it. Somehow, we came to a comical conclusion that the cook liked me since they gave me a note the day before and arranged my veggies in a special way that day. We laughed and I decided I would get my lunch there the next day to see if the cook was cute and maybe I’d slip her a note too.

The next day came and I returned and ordered the usual. At first, I forgot to check to see if the cook was cute. Then I felt a note under my bowl again and peered through the window to the back to see who this admirer was. I met a pair of eyes. Eyes that were bushy. Eyes with very defined bones outlining them. These eyes were man eyes! It was a dude! All the cooks were dudes!

I frantically looked around to see if others received such notes with their meals. They didn’t. I had been singled out… by a man… a man who liked to single out other men! I briskly returned to my seat and related my horrifying findings to my friends. They all laughed at my plight. But I was determined to set things straight… well, not necessarily the guy, but the situation.

However, when I returned to Teriyaki Stix the next day, the cook was nowhere to be found. Perhaps it was his day off, I thought. But, after that day, I never saw him again. To this day, my friends and I joke about this situation and say he got fired for flirting with his male coworkers. But, the mystery of the Teriyaki Stix cook will forever go unsolved.

Embarrassing Story (Vomit Van)

The other night, my friends and I were at a birthday party and we they asked the birthday boy to tell an experience from every year of his life. For various reasons, we all began to take turns telling all kinds of stories. They also seemed to get progressively more disgusting and one involved vomit. That reminded me of the story I usually share when asked what was my most embarrassing experience I’ve ever had is. This particular event happened on a sunny summer morning…

I was accustomed to play basketball every Monday morning with the missionaries in my town from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and other members of my church. For whatever reason, basketball was canceled that day so I decided to drive into Hershey to go for a run at Shank Park. After my run, I started feeling kind of sick. I thought nothing of it and started driving on the back roads home. That’s when it hit me!

I felt the sudden urge to purge and realized I didn’t have much time to act. There was nowhere to pull over my mini-van. I started lowering my automatic windows and slowing down, hoping no one was behind me. The window seemed to take an eternity to roll down! Once it was low enough to stick my head out, I let loose what so desperately wanted out of my stomach. I got lucky, in a way. Only a little vomit got on my shoulder because of the wind. I was unlucky in that the rest successfully created a Jackson Pollock-like masterpiece on the side of my van. I felt horrible, but well enough to drive home. I decided I’d just have to wash it when I got back to my place.

Once I got inside, I saw there was a message on our answering machine and checked it. It was the missionaries or Elder’s as we call them by their title. Apparently, whatever impeded basketball from happening no longer did so. They wanted to see if I could get a hold of everyone to get a game on in Hershey. I was super excited! So excited in fact that I somehow managed to forget how sick I had felt and that there was vomit all over the side of my van… my vomit van. I made the calls and the game was on!

I realized about halfway into Hershey that I forgot to wash my car and that it probably looked awful, but I thought, who cares? I’ll just head home afterwards and take care of it. I was wrong.

As soon as I got to the gym, a member of my church came up to me and asked if he could get a ride to a car shop to pick up his vehicle which had just been serviced. I couldn’t say no. I just pointed out my van to him and explained the incident and apologized for the retched smell that would no doubt accompany us on the trip. It was a long trip or at least felt like it took forever.

We returned and played ball. I got sick again, go figure. I was so ready to go home afterwards. When the game ended, however, it was clear that my embarrassment was far from over. One of my friends, a missionary, came up and asked, “Hey Dan, you remember how some Elders were going to move into Palmyra today and you said you could help out and let us use your van?” I did remember. So, I went about explaining my car situation to the missionaries and began the trip to Palmyra.

It was awful. I felt awful in multiple ways. There were also an older couple of missionaries there that was helping us that were there to supervise everything. They were fairly important people and assisted the Mission President with a lot of things. They were very appreciative of my help and walked us out to our rides. Then they asked, “Which car is yours?” Already exhausted of explaining I replied, with a smile on my face, something to the effect of, “Oh, the puke covered one over there!” It was certainly a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day if I’ve ever had one.

The Cougareat Adventures (TASG)

If you want to see some very unique characters, the Cougareat at BYU is a good place to find them. This will be the first of a series of posts about strange characters or things that have happened while in the Cougareat. I was inspired to start this series today because of a couple people I saw today while lunching. First, there was a kid wearing jeans that still had the sticker showing the size on the back of the one leg who was walking around. Then, I overheard some super nerds behind me talking about their World of Warcraft characters and commenting how their Warlocks were master jewel crafters. After that there was an assortment of people my friend Jesse and I saw and immediately nicknamed such as skipping girl, poncho, and (of course referring to the old beer commercials) Twins! But none of these unique people had anything on one particular girl I met one fateful day a couple years ago…

It was a long day for me. I spent most of it in the library, most likely studying accounting. So, I decided to take a break and grab dinner in the Cougareat on campus. The place was empty and I sat at a table by myself and began to enjoy a peaceful meal. That’s when she swooped in! It was obvious she was looking for company since every other table was empty in the place. When she asked if she could join me, I couldn’t refuse. It would be rude. So she sat right next to me at my open table. I knew that she was going to be trouble. If I would have found her attractive it would be every guy’s dream come true. But this was not the case! If you haven’t noticed, I have avoided using her name thus far and I will continue to do so until the very end of this story.

There were a few seconds of awkward silence (what would be a common occurrence in the conversation that would follow) until I decided I should be polite and introduce myself. Her eyes widened and she seemed to have gotten what she wanted, recognition. She then introduced herself and began to divulge an obviously rehearsed spiel about how she came to be at BYU. She also made it very obvious that she was at the university for one thing and one thing only: to find herself a man and get married! I would say that that is when I knew I was in trouble, but I had already come to that realization.

Somehow, the conversation continued on the topic of dating and began to take a turn for the extremely awkward side as she began to discuss dating habits of BYU. She cautioned about how couples needed to be careful when they were all alone……. at night……… (and I’m adding the ellipses in an attempt to imitate the real life pause between words or ideas she used and imply awkward silence)………..and things happen…………………….and then they’d have to go and talk to their bishop…

What followed was the most awkward silence of my life where I vividly remember looking around to see if anyone else was seeing what was going on, but alas, I was alone.

…………… “I’m Talkin’ About SEX!”

Well, there it was. If there had been any doubt in mind with respect to the subject matter of her discourse or to her craziness, it was resolved with those four words. I don’t remember much of the rest of the conversation. I just remember thinking if I was on candid camera, trying to finish my food asap, and hearing something about how she felt sorry for Brittany Spears and her sister.

It was possibly the most awkward conversation I’ve ever had an has become a favorite funny memory of mine. Her name you ask? Isn’t it obvious by the title of the post or by her most memorable quote? Talkin’ About Sex Girl! Some friends doubted my story, but there have been many sightings of TASG since this incident by myself and others. Beware, she is still out there and, if you ever find yourself dining alone on a still night in the Cougareat, watch your back. You may just become the next victim of TASG!

Try Something New (Tandem Bikes)

Last night, I was playing that game with my friends where you have 10 fingers up and each person takes a turn saying something they have never done in their life. If you have done what someone says, than you have to put a finger down. The last person with a finger or more up wins. I guess it’s a game that rewards the biggest loser for leading an uneventful life. One of the things I said that I had never done was a ride a bike by myself. It needed some explaining because I have been on a 30 mile bike ride, but I don’t know how to ride a bike. So how was it that I went on a 30 mile bike ride without knowing how to ride a bike? Well I’ll tell you…

This summer I lived with my dad in Salt Lake City, but I would come visit my friends in Provo almost every weekend to have some fun. On a particular Saturday afternoon, my friend Matt told me about a church activity his congregation would have in which they would all bike about 15 miles up into a canyon and would have dinner there. He then explained that he was thinking about driving up to the park they would eat in and just meeting everyone there. I was cool with that.

Later on, two girls in the apartment complex expressed their desire to rent two tandem bikes and bike with us up the canyon. I was still unsure I wanted to do this, but it seemed like Matt really wanted to do it. I thought it couldn’t hurt to try something new, so I reluctantly agreed.

The next challenge was renting the bikes. There happened to be a house across the street that rented out tandem bikes. We tried knocking on the door at different times of the time, calling their number, and talking to their neighbors to see where the owners were and if we could rent the bikes that were so very lonely in the front ward. To make a long story short, we never got a hold of the owners, stole the bikes, and left our contact information on their door.

If that wasn’t bad enough, it then became apparent that the two girls wanted to bike together and not go boy-girl-boy-girl. So we had just stolen two tandem bikes on which my friend Matt and I would have to ride together on one of them. Luckily, Matt was an excellent biker and I could sit in the back and just help peddle. It was then that we also realized that the bike had no gears or brakes… potentially vital to biking through the mountains of Utah.

We all gathered outside the apartment complex and many members of his congregation thought our situation rather humorous. When we started on the streets, things were easy enough. We just got a few funny looks and honks from passing cars. Everything was fine. That’s when we encountered our first 30 degree incline and struggled up it and it hit us just how hard the mountains would be.

To shorten the story, the trip was filled with many steep hills in which we could barely make it up. The trip took about an hour or more. We received many puzzled glances from those we passed, ringing our 50’s style bike bell as we passed. I thought I would die by the time we got to the top. I’m happy to say, however, that we were the third bike to make it to the park, even without gears! At the park, we pigged out. Then we knew we had to start our return journey because it looked like it was going to start raining.

The way home was pure chaos. We were just two guys flying down a steep mountain with no brakes on a tandem bike almost hitting a million people on the path and ringing the little bell as a warning to everyone. We almost hit a family on a narrow part of the path. Yelling at them the whole way down the hill, we saw their faces of distress slowly turn to smiles as they realized what was going on. A group of bikers gave us a hard time for a bit too. Then, in order to avoid someone on the path, Matt steered to the side and I hit my foot on the rock wall that lined the path. It took about a half an hour to get back!

When we got home, we returned the bike and all was well even though we stole them. All in all it was a very unique experience and I’m glad I did it. It’s always fun to try new things and you never know what can happen or what stories you’ll be able to tell.